You Are Not the Boss of Me
Each of us has a 2-year-old tyrant that lurks deep inside.
Yes, you, me, and every person that you lead. This natural part of our inner world can rear its head and cause performance and leadership challenges. It comes up as you lead yourself and others. Since I am now a Yaya (grandma) to a 2-year-old, I get it as you ask them to do something they resist. If you give them choices that will work for you, they tend to co-operate.
As a leader, you can encounter resistance, flat-out noncompliance, and even sabotage behind your back. Here are steps to advance your leadership.
1st Accept that you feed your own two-year-old when you react with frustration (only natural), upset or other emotional response—picture two 2-year-olds solving a problem. Take a couple of deep breaths to become calm and adult again.
2nd Stop and approach the situation anew. Think about choices and co Operating WITH the staff member. If you have already made a demand, be willing to admit your poor communication about the request. Ask if you can have a “Do Over?” Now, ask for their input and point-of-view. Listen, be present, and do not be distracted by other demands. Together solve the challenge, discuss how to reach the goal, or get the job done to performance expectations.
3rd Ask for their ideas about how they can deliver your clear task/job expectation(s). To clarify the communication, take time to ask the staff member to tell you in their own words what the expectation is. Be sure you agree.
4th Specifically, agree who will do what by when. Be sure to include a most necessary check back time. This Check back allows you to Praise the result OR re engage in the conversation about the results and expectations. Discuss with the staff member: What is working? Then, What is Not working?
Now, each time you approach a staff member about their performance, you can pull up that image … “You Are Not the Boss of Me,” and know how to handle the situation.
Email me [email protected], and I will send you my Performance Coaching Worksheet to have as a model for the conversation.
