Transitions

Jun 19, 2023 | Inspiration For Your Life Path

There is NO path through life without change and transition. Fran Dresser, “The Nanny,” said no one gets out unscathed when she learns of her cancer diagnosis. We can kick and scream into the change, OR we can learn to make the change our own as a learning and growing opportunity. Transition visited me with the COVID lockdown, then my husband of now 32 years had a health challenge – all AOK now but scary while it lasted. In 2017, I made my way through the transition of selling my dental consulting business. This May, I completed my final dental leadership coaching program. 

In the last few years, I transitioned to my New life. Course by course, book by book, I researched and studied retirement and what that might be like for me as an achiever and Go-Getter. Through research and study, I created the Elder Quest course. I have now delivered it twice. This course and life coaching are my new path. As I work with people during the course and as clients, I see them shed their old identities and open their lives to their unique and exciting retirement life. 

A section of the course consists of looking back to see all our ” lives. ” Call them roles or lives; we each uniquely walk a path to become who we are. Looking back, I found that seeming travesties were actually growth invitations. Each one Re-Set my path. I can see clearly that the “rest of the story” becomes a blessing.   

Potholes can also occur. I got a reminder on a recent road trip to visit with one of my long-time dental colleagues, Jackie Dorst, an OSHA expert. Jackie helped dentists get through the COVID crisis with her interviews and podcasts. Jackie was traveling from her home in Florida to Tucson, AZ, for the OSAP Annual Conference. My stepson lives in Tucson; the plan was a road trip for Ted and me to drive to Tucson from our home in Ventura, CA. 

The pothole reminder came along the road as we passed the exit for Western University Dental School in Pomona, CA. There I interviewed for a Practice Management part-time faculty position. I wrote the curriculum and worked with the dean and assistant dean to create a real-world business course for dental students. I was excited about the transition to the west coast to join the faculty. Ted and I bought a home in Ventura, CA, where my two sons live. The position started in August. In July, amid our move, the dean called to tell me that they had to give the part-time position to a dentist who was teaching another subject part-time, and he needed a full-time position. Dream dashed, move already made. This led to a New Life, Re-Set into coaching.  

This blog newsletter shares my transition out of the dental field, and I invite you to come along if you’d like. This Elder Quest path is my creation, and you can read the testimonials on the Elder Quest page on my website: https://www.lifepathbydesign.net/elderquest

 

The two blogs are:

Life Path by Design if you are not close to retirement OR

Elder Quest if you are near or already retired

 

Retirement is not for Sissies. You’ll need a plan and maybe learn new skills to embrace your uniqueness to be of service as you live another third of your life. 

English poet Robert Browning said: “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.” 

All the best to you – Thanks for the memories, my dear dental peeps!

Linda

So Blessed

So Blessed

Feb 17, 2022 | Inspiration For Your Life Path

The infamous “THEY” say that counting your Blessings and expressing Gratitude is good. Thus, So Blessed is my theme as I reflect on beginnings and endings.

So Blessed, in 1966, to start my first job as a dental assistant with a Pankey Institute instructor and nationally known lecturer, Dr. John O. Wilson. He blessed me as a mentor and gave me a foundation for excellence. In Dr. Wilson’s Atlanta, GA practice, he told me, again and again, to never settle for average.

Gratitude to my bosses as I made my progression from dental assistant to a dental hygienist to dental hygiene consultant to dental practice management consultant and dental practice administrator.

So BLESSED to get fired from that practice administrator job. It kicked my butt and nudged me to take the leap and open Drevenstedt Consulting in 1992 while working part-time as a dental hygienist.

I extend great Gratitude to Jackie Dorst, who lovingly took me in to train me on the new OSHA compliance duties needed to re-enter dental hygiene. Dr. Bill Williams a blessing when he hired me as a part-time RDH and taught me SOO much that I later used as a consultant.

So Blessed by my good friend, Bud, who not only helped me set up my first business computer but loaned me the money to buy that computer. That computer helped me build The Drevenstedt Group, an Atlanta, GA firm, to become a southeastern training center for dental practice management and practice management consulting. I am Grateful for ALL who attended classes, helped decorate, or served as instructors, consultants, and office staff.

And then, and then, 9/11 happened! People stopped traveling and attending classes to cocoon at home and heal from the trauma of that infamous event.

Sadly, I closed the training center and shrunk my consulting firm to just me and an office manager. So Blessed by my dear friend, Dave, a minister, and a dentist, who took me to lunch to help me find the blessings in that travesty. With his wise words and my faith connection, I found the blessing. After grieving my loss, the following years were less stressful, and I became personally healthier. I gratefully served dental clients and spoke at dental meetings throughout the US and Canada. To all of my clients and colleagues, I send immense Gratitude.

Along the path, I met Ted, another Blessing. Now into our 31st year of marriage, together we traveled to over forty countries. We visited our children who were either stationed overseas in the military or had wonder lust or to places that tickled our fancy. Life in Stone Mountain, GA, then St. Augustine, FL, and now Ventura, CA is still an adventure.

2017 brought another life path transition. After moving to Ventura in 2014, I began to study along two paths. I acquired Master Success and Life Coaching Credentials AND became a licensed spiritual coach with Centers for Spiritual Living. Serving coaching clients and my faith along new avenues is a delight and a blessing.

After closing the Atlanta training center, I created a dental consultant mentoring and licensing program. That program gave me the blessed opportunity to mentor new consultants. In 2017, I sold my consulting firm to four capable consultants. Each continues today with their consulting firms in Texas, Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina.

So Blessed by the coaches who guided me with wisdom and, yes, some tears along my path. Patrick, Barbara, Michael, Brenda, Ryan, Shelly, Sylvia, Dean, and Bill helped me step by step to take full responsibility for my life, my happiness, and my healing. I learned to look for the blessings as life constantly gives us opportunities to become a victim OR to pick ourselves up and start all over again, as the old song goes.

Now, the time has come. With Covid sequestering and my age progression, I am now seventy-five; life is ever-changing. Retirement, for me, has come in phases, including denial, fighting back, as well as health challenges physically slowing me down. All led to reinventing my vocation and diving deep into the process of how to create fulfillment and significance in the 20 or more years after “retiring.”

Blessings come in beginnings and in endings. It is time to put Drevenstedt Consulting to rest. My Gratitude abounds for the over three hundred clients I served to help each reach their own practice goals.

My life path is now coaching, writing, and teaching. After publishing three books, another is emerging named Elder Quest for now. Stay tuned.

Excellence is still the mantra as I navigate, study, write and coach others along their life path. I invite you to stay in touch on my two Facebook pages.

Facebook: Savvy Retirees: https://bit.ly/3raewb6

 

 

 Facebook: Life Path: www.bit.ly/2Wf2fV4

 

 

I’ll be posting blogs along with new material. I’m currently writing for those entering the “Elder Quest” phase of life. Either way, let’s stay in touch. I wish you blessings along your path.

Let me hear from you [email protected] – 800.242.7648

PS: Thank You to all of my former clients; you are a blessing. I continue to coach practice administrators and dental practice owners on LEADERSHIP. Contact me at [email protected]

Life’s Memos

Life’s Memos

Jun 1, 2021 | Inspiration For Your Life Path

His eyes welled with tears. His lower lip quivered. He bent his head in shame. He got caught.

I saw that even the mildest correction to keep him from pulling the leaves off of my fig tree went in as “I am NOT OK.” Hugs and cuddles shifted his mood, and a few moments later, my two-year-old grandson was his joyous self again, eating his birthday cake.

How many times did you as a child take a course correction in as a shame nodule, as a Memo that you are “Not enough, Not OK, not loved,” etcetera, etcetera?

Looking back on my life and my coaching, I see the common thread. Our parents, caregivers, and other well-meaning adults correct our behavior. They are on a mission to shape us into well-behaved adults. As adults, we, unfortunately, experience bad behavior from laisse-fare parents whose children act rudely, act without manners or civil concern for others. What’s it all about Alfie?

Through my journey to “free myself” from the effects of my upbringing, I’ve done lots of work. As a coach, I coach my clients to process and peel away the crusted childhood scars. What continues to amaze me is that seemingly innocent life events get stuck. These sticky spots can run and ruin an entire life. The most common STUCK Memo is “I am NOT enough.”

The “I’m Not enough” Memo can arise from actual verbal abuse. The abusive words, along with the hurt or shameful feelings, get deeply buried in our subconscious. Those words are buried, stuffed, and then spun into a deep belief. That belief regurgitates through Monkey Mind Chatter. After all, adults are RIGHT when we are little. It must be SO. Life gets lived through their adult lens. Not a Rose-colored lens, but a lens covered over with a defeat Memo. Our Self-Talk keeps us stuck, replaying a myriad of old Memos.

Even if there was no actual verbal abuse, we take in sibling and peer conversations as accurate. I recall a 4th-grade kickball situation that led me to believe that I was not good enough. Missing kicked balls and not being able to kick the ball led the team to always chose me last. I took that Memo in and decided I was not good at sports. That theme played out in my attempts to play racquetball, to play golf, and to snow ski.

How can we change the internal conversation? You can find many methods from therapists, Shamans, books, and coaches. The list is extensive: affirmations, journaling, primal scream, beating a pillow, meditation, and on and on. The seeker in me has experienced them all. Here is what helped the most:

1). First, find the picture in your mind of the buried Memo or Mindset issue causing negative thinking, negative feelings, or negative Mind chatter/self-talk. If the thought makes you feel less than whole, it is negative. Mindset is the set of beliefs and attitudes that are inside your subconscious. Mindset consists of all those Memos shaken and stirred. You live through those beliefs. Unfortunately, most people assume that it is a permanent part of “ME.” Au contraire. You put it in; you can take it out or replace it.

2). Focus on the picture; get quiet and breathe deeply; settle in and silently ask your subconscious: “when did this first become a thought or idea inside me? What event brought this thought about myself into my life?”

If meditating is not for you, take out a pen and paper and write the highlighted questions on the top of the page. Set the timer for 5 minutes. Start writing free form, keeping pen to paper for 5 minutes. Re-write the question over and over if you get suck. Continue to write – when or what brought the idea that “I am not enough” (I need to be a perfectionist to be OK) into my mind, my heart, my soul, my life…?

3). Capture that picture, looking down on it as if you are in a hot air balloon over it. In your imagination, take the picture and make everyone a cartoon character instead of you and the other person. Play with the event and make it into a silly mind movie. Imagine the people who are dissing you as if they are tiny people with cartoon-like squeaky voices. Play the movie fast, then slow, so the speech is distorted. Laugh and enjoy the show. Cry if you want to.

Next, gather a few colored pencils and paper – Draw a cartoon of the event. (For your eyes only, no art judge is lurking.) Use stick people to make your picture with cartoon clouds above their heads with spoken words. Once you can see the event on your page – color over it, so it is no longer visible, put the page in the shredder, burn it in the fireplace. Let it go.

4). Re-frame the event.

i) Write a forgiveness letter to the person who gave you the damaging Memo. Even if they are no longer living. The letter is not for them; it is for you. In the letter, acknowledge that you now know that they were doing the best they could. They did what they did based on their programming, cultural & family values and attitudes.

ii) Use the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer – Ho’oponopono. Find my version under downloads on my website https://www.lifepathbydesign.net/cultivateyourpotentialwithhooponopono/

Cleaning out old programming is an ongoing process. It opens your heart and soul to your true self and your true light.

Next month I’ll discuss Affirmations as another tool to use in RE-Programming.

 

PS – These 3 Things Hold people Back. Each a Coaching opportunity for you.
1). Internal Conflict
2). Negative Emotions (Memos)
3). Limiting Beliefs (came from the Memos)