So Blessed

Feb 17, 2022 | Inspiration For Your Life Path

The infamous “THEY” say that counting your Blessings and expressing Gratitude is good. Thus, So Blessed is my theme as I reflect on beginnings and endings.

So Blessed, in 1966, to start my first job as a dental assistant with a Pankey Institute instructor and nationally known lecturer, Dr. John O. Wilson. He blessed me as a mentor and gave me a foundation for excellence. In Dr. Wilson’s Atlanta, GA practice, he told me, again and again, to never settle for average.

Gratitude to my bosses as I made my progression from dental assistant to a dental hygienist to dental hygiene consultant to dental practice management consultant and dental practice administrator.

So BLESSED to get fired from that practice administrator job. It kicked my butt and nudged me to take the leap and open Drevenstedt Consulting in 1992 while working part-time as a dental hygienist.

I extend great Gratitude to Jackie Dorst, who lovingly took me in to train me on the new OSHA compliance duties needed to re-enter dental hygiene. Dr. Bill Williams a blessing when he hired me as a part-time RDH and taught me SOO much that I later used as a consultant.

So Blessed by my good friend, Bud, who not only helped me set up my first business computer but loaned me the money to buy that computer. That computer helped me build The Drevenstedt Group, an Atlanta, GA firm, to become a southeastern training center for dental practice management and practice management consulting. I am Grateful for ALL who attended classes, helped decorate, or served as instructors, consultants, and office staff.

And then, and then, 9/11 happened! People stopped traveling and attending classes to cocoon at home and heal from the trauma of that infamous event.

Sadly, I closed the training center and shrunk my consulting firm to just me and an office manager. So Blessed by my dear friend, Dave, a minister, and a dentist, who took me to lunch to help me find the blessings in that travesty. With his wise words and my faith connection, I found the blessing. After grieving my loss, the following years were less stressful, and I became personally healthier. I gratefully served dental clients and spoke at dental meetings throughout the US and Canada. To all of my clients and colleagues, I send immense Gratitude.

Along the path, I met Ted, another Blessing. Now into our 31st year of marriage, together we traveled to over forty countries. We visited our children who were either stationed overseas in the military or had wonder lust or to places that tickled our fancy. Life in Stone Mountain, GA, then St. Augustine, FL, and now Ventura, CA is still an adventure.

2017 brought another life path transition. After moving to Ventura in 2014, I began to study along two paths. I acquired Master Success and Life Coaching Credentials AND became a licensed spiritual coach with Centers for Spiritual Living. Serving coaching clients and my faith along new avenues is a delight and a blessing.

After closing the Atlanta training center, I created a dental consultant mentoring and licensing program. That program gave me the blessed opportunity to mentor new consultants. In 2017, I sold my consulting firm to four capable consultants. Each continues today with their consulting firms in Texas, Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina.

So Blessed by the coaches who guided me with wisdom and, yes, some tears along my path. Patrick, Barbara, Michael, Brenda, Ryan, Shelly, Sylvia, Dean, and Bill helped me step by step to take full responsibility for my life, my happiness, and my healing. I learned to look for the blessings as life constantly gives us opportunities to become a victim OR to pick ourselves up and start all over again, as the old song goes.

Now, the time has come. With Covid sequestering and my age progression, I am now seventy-five; life is ever-changing. Retirement, for me, has come in phases, including denial, fighting back, as well as health challenges physically slowing me down. All led to reinventing my vocation and diving deep into the process of how to create fulfillment and significance in the 20 or more years after “retiring.”

Blessings come in beginnings and in endings. It is time to put Drevenstedt Consulting to rest. My Gratitude abounds for the over three hundred clients I served to help each reach their own practice goals.

My life path is now coaching, writing, and teaching. After publishing three books, another is emerging named Elder Quest for now. Stay tuned.

Excellence is still the mantra as I navigate, study, write and coach others along their life path. I invite you to stay in touch on my two Facebook pages.

Facebook: Savvy Retirees: https://bit.ly/3raewb6

 Facebook: Life Path: www.bit.ly/2Wf2fV4

I’ll be posting blogs along with new material. I’m currently writing for those entering the “Elder Quest” phase of life. Either way, let’s stay in touch. I wish you blessings along your path.

Let me hear from you [email protected] – 800.242.7648

PS: Thank You to all of my former clients; you are a blessing. I continue to coach practice administrators and dental practice owners on LEADERSHIP. Contact me at [email protected]

Life’s Memos

Jun 1, 2021 | Inspiration For Your Life Path

His eyes welled with tears. His lower lip quivered. He bent his head in shame. He got caught.

I saw that even the mildest correction to keep him from pulling the leaves off of my fig tree went in as “I am NOT OK.” Hugs and cuddles shifted his mood, and a few moments later, my two-year-old grandson was his joyous self again, eating his birthday cake.

How many times did you as a child take a course correction in as a shame nodule, as a Memo that you are “Not enough, Not OK, not loved,” etcetera, etcetera?

Looking back on my life and my coaching, I see the common thread. Our parents, caregivers, and other well-meaning adults correct our behavior. They are on a mission to shape us into well-behaved adults. As adults, we, unfortunately, experience bad behavior from laisse-fare parents whose children act rudely, act without manners or civil concern for others. What’s it all about Alfie?

Through my journey to “free myself” from the effects of my upbringing, I’ve done lots of work. As a coach, I coach my clients to process and peel away the crusted childhood scars. What continues to amaze me is that seemingly innocent life events get stuck. These sticky spots can run and ruin an entire life. The most common STUCK Memo is “I am NOT enough.”

The “I’m Not enough” Memo can arise from actual verbal abuse. The abusive words, along with the hurt or shameful feelings, get deeply buried in our subconscious. Those words are buried, stuffed, and then spun into a deep belief. That belief regurgitates through Monkey Mind Chatter. After all, adults are RIGHT when we are little. It must be SO. Life gets lived through their adult lens. Not a Rose-colored lens, but a lens covered over with a defeat Memo. Our Self-Talk keeps us stuck, replaying a myriad of old Memos.

Even if there was no actual verbal abuse, we take in sibling and peer conversations as accurate. I recall a 4th-grade kickball situation that led me to believe that I was not good enough. Missing kicked balls and not being able to kick the ball led the team to always chose me last. I took that Memo in and decided I was not good at sports. That theme played out in my attempts to play racquetball, to play golf, and to snow ski.

How can we change the internal conversation? You can find many methods from therapists, Shamans, books, and coaches. The list is extensive: affirmations, journaling, primal scream, beating a pillow, meditation, and on and on. The seeker in me has experienced them all. Here is what helped the most:

1). First, find the picture in your mind of the buried Memo or Mindset issue causing negative thinking, negative feelings, or negative Mind chatter/self-talk. If the thought makes you feel less than whole, it is negative. Mindset is the set of beliefs and attitudes that are inside your subconscious. Mindset consists of all those Memos shaken and stirred. You live through those beliefs. Unfortunately, most people assume that it is a permanent part of “ME.” Au contraire. You put it in; you can take it out or replace it.

2). Focus on the picture; get quiet and breathe deeply; settle in and silently ask your subconscious: “when did this first become a thought or idea inside me? What event brought this thought about myself into my life?”

If meditating is not for you, take out a pen and paper and write the highlighted questions on the top of the page. Set the timer for 5 minutes. Start writing free form, keeping pen to paper for 5 minutes. Re-write the question over and over if you get suck. Continue to write – when or what brought the idea that “I am not enough” (I need to be a perfectionist to be OK) into my mind, my heart, my soul, my life…?

3). Capture that picture, looking down on it as if you are in a hot air balloon over it. In your imagination, take the picture and make everyone a cartoon character instead of you and the other person. Play with the event and make it into a silly mind movie. Imagine the people who are dissing you as if they are tiny people with cartoon-like squeaky voices. Play the movie fast, then slow, so the speech is distorted. Laugh and enjoy the show. Cry if you want to.

Next, gather a few colored pencils and paper – Draw a cartoon of the event. (For your eyes only, no art judge is lurking.) Use stick people to make your picture with cartoon clouds above their heads with spoken words. Once you can see the event on your page – color over it, so it is no longer visible, put the page in the shredder, burn it in the fireplace. Let it go.

4). Re-frame the event.

i) Write a forgiveness letter to the person who gave you the damaging Memo. Even if they are no longer living. The letter is not for them; it is for you. In the letter, acknowledge that you now know that they were doing the best they could. They did what they did based on their programming, cultural & family values and attitudes.

ii) Use the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer – Ho’oponopono. Find my version under downloads on my website https://www.lifepathbydesign.net/cultivateyourpotentialwithhooponopono/

Cleaning out old programming is an ongoing process. It opens your heart and soul to your true self and your true light.

Next month I’ll discuss Affirmations as another tool to use in RE-Programming.

PS – These 3 Things Hold people Back. Each a Coaching opportunity for you.
1). Internal Conflict
2). Negative Emotions (Memos)
3). Limiting Beliefs (came from the Memos)

Pandemic Pause Crossroads

May 27, 2020 | Inspiration For Your Life Path

No one knew it was coming. Life was going along at its normal pace. We were all doing our life, our work, our relationships and then, out of nowhere, came 9/11. We “cocooned.” We were afraid to go out, especially to an airport, any tall building or military base. We hunkered down and thought WWIII might be at hand.

And we lost a lot during that time. I for one had to close the business I built in Atlanta, my dental practice management education center. Just a little over two years old; just making a profit. I put blood, sweat and tears into that dream of mine. And in an instant; it was gone.

Suffering came. Long dark night of the soul. Rug pulled out from under us. Many phrases speak to the trauma that event brought to our lives. And yet, we survived and even thrived.

I learned a valuable lesson in the 9/11 aftermath. I boohooed for days. I wallowed in self-pity and rage at the upending of my dream. And then, I asked a friend to lunch. A dear friend with a great listening ear and whose spiritual connection ran deep. Mine was lost. Yes, I was mad at God, too.

As we sat down, the waiter greeted us and then wrote his name on the butcher paper covering the table. He left a few crayons. While the kitchen prepared our meal, I blubbered and shared my pity story with my friend. He listened, asked a few questions and then he pondered before speaking. He picked up a crayon and wrote a  life changing question. “Linda, now, what are you going to gain?”

Well (with attitude!), I first thought – nothing. I have lost. Then, one deep breath later, I burst into tears and blubbered, “Time with my family, especially Ted.”

This crossroads and a friend’s question took the tragedy of 9/11 and allowed me to pivot it into an opportunity that I could not see in my personal pity party. Thank goodness for my friend.

At this pandemic pause crossroads, I want to reach through these words to be your friend and ask several questions:

Are you using your God given gifts in the career, job you are in or will go back to?

Are you living where you soul is nourished and fed?

Are you chasing, grasping at a dream that needs a Re-Boot?

Are you truly happy inside or are you putting on a happy face, so you don’t rock the proverbial boat?

What is your life’s vision, calling, dharma, or purpose? If you aren’t clear on this one, you will be following someone else’s vision. Or, you will be rocking along like a tumble weed and ending up somewhere you were not planning to be in a few years.

What are you missing that it’s time to regain? What dream or desire have you denied in the face of responsibility, duty or being “asleep at the wheel” going through the motions of life?

Which spinning plate in your life needs to drop, to be let go?

Since you are already sequestered, this is a beautiful time to give yourself a personal soul-searching retreat. Yes, you may be home schooling children, you may be working from home, you may be furloughed or laid off. You may not have the same job and pay to go back to. All can be true for right now. But, you also have a great time to re-invent, re-boot, re-imagine the life you want to go back into.

This phrase runs through my mind these days, “What’s it all about, Alfie?” Who knows? I only know this. I am spending my COVID-19 sequester in a personal soul-searching retreat buried in books and journaling. Now, over a month into this, who knows the outcome. But, for me much like 9/11. I am making a personal commitment to pivot, reframe my vision and my business.

After 9/11, I resized my business and developed a licensing program to mentor other “want-to-be” dental consultants. Yes, I lost money as I closed my dream education center. My coach and business advisors helped me create a new model for my business with less stress, less time away from home AND more profits. Through that reframe and then my re-boot, I gained the wisdom and faith to know I will make it through this one, too.

To continue as that friend who wants to assist you during this pandemic pause, I am creating e-book modules, Pandemic Pause Crossroads: Guide for Your Life Path Pivot,  to nudge you along during your own soul-searching retreat. I will share from my heart, my learning, my wisdom, and my belief that every person deserves to delve into that place inside where their personal passion, vision, dharma lives and “make it be so.” And there is no gimmick, it will all be free to you as my gift.

While I am creating each module, you can enjoy my new journaling e-book, Easy Journaling: 5 Steps in 5 Minutes. Click here www.lifepathbydesign.net to get yours. Or order the print version on Amazon.com

Easy Journaling Amazon link https://amzn.to/354QD9l

And please pass this along to any friends or family who may want to Pivot, Re-vision, Re-examine, Re-Boot their own life path with a virtual soul-searching retreat.

F.L.O.A.T.

Apr 10, 2020 | Inspiration For Your Life Path

My calm place, as the world swirls around us in it’s own conversation, is my meditation practice.  Each day I look to the calm inside beyond the appearance “out there.” The place where I connect to the Divine presence. Divine presence appears as Jesus at times, as Quan Yin,  as Divine grace and sometimes no visual just the feeling of a warm cozy blanket around me.

Today after listening to Elizabeth Gilbert’s post on the Insight Timer™ app (Elizabeth Gilbert Compassion), I found myself writing the letter she suggests from the divine loving presence to me. The letter poured out for pages as I let go of held-in tension I am not sure I even realized was there.

We go about our chosen spiritual path, and often forget our human part. We try to put on the happy face; the “I’m doing OK” face or the “I’ve got it together” face.   We bury the real human feeling of being afraid, overwhelmed, and frustrated about things like no eggs or almond milk at the grocery store.  But we are human and divine.

Our human BEING is vulnerable to the “Out there” scare, fear and the “fake news” and the real news.  I loved Elizabeth Gilbert’s message. We all, in our humanness, want the comfort of a warm loving ideal mother to put her arms around us and kiss the Boo-boo away. We may never have had that from our real mother or maybe we did.  But, hey, we are toughened adults and whining to get comfort is frowned upon. We are all supposed to put on the brave face, especially if you have children at home.

As I wrote, more poured out. I got an image of a time when I learned to let go and trust. I was in the swimming pool at the YWCA from early childhood. You see, my Mom was afraid of the water and never learned to swim. She wanted me and my brother to never to be afraid of the water. She brought us to the Y for swim lessons at the earliest possible age. I loved it and went on to teach swimming as a teen.  The float skill learning curve came to mind.  Floating takes trust, letting go and finally faith.

In order to teach us to float, the instructor would be in the pool with me, hold my shoulders and asked me to move my feet up so I was like a log.  I would move my feet up, then put them back down, afraid of sinking.  She would patiently repeat the process. Then came the time I let it happen, I trusted the float that was there all the time waiting for me.  Never looking back. Floating is one of the most calming things I do. Pool or ocean.  Now, my son Paul is teaching my granddaughter, Nina age 3, to float.

I grew to love the waves at Tybee Beach, in Savannah, GA where we spent summers as a child. I would float, a wave would come and take me for a ride.  I would often cough and sputter if the wave was a bit much for me in that moment. Then I got braver and allowed the float in me to become body surfing.  The wave might come and toss me to the sand below even scratching my knees as the surf tumbled me with force. But I knew deep inside I always had my float.  Just relax and the surface will come back.

Whether you float is a choice. Here is my float meditation:

F – Free yourself of FEAR

L – Lean into faith as you know it, the Loving arms of your Divine presence.

O – Offer thanksgiving/gratitude. Observe life from the hawk’s eye view.

A – Accept guidance, a nudge, or help. Accept that you can help others

T – Take one step

Floating takes trust, letting go and finally faith.  Your float is waiting for you.

Be well out there,

Coach Linda

P.S. – Here’s my new e-book. It is fill-in-able for you. Free to you. During this “shelter in place time,” journaling can be a great comfort and new habit to start or continue. Just go to my website:  www.lifepathbydesign.net to receive your free e-book.

OR, if you’d like a page back copy with plenty of writing space, the book is available on Amazon.

The Failure Myth

Mar 23, 2020 | Inspiration For Your Life Path