You are a busy professional with family demands plus work demands, and yet you can feel like you are just moving deck chairs on the Titanic. Not moving forward, just getting through each day with a “To Do List” with leftovers. Busy can feel like you are making progress, but, when you stop for a moment and take a breath, you seem to be in the same spot you were yesterday and the day before.
Yuck…being STUCK SUCKS. Daily actions are either moving you forward, keeping you in a rut or taking you backwards. When you are in a rut, (I call it the DOLDRUMS.) life can feel a bit pointless, frustrating, and even boring though you are busy to the MAX. How to get out of the doldrums and get UN-Stuck?
Time for a personal leadership break. You say there is not time for a break? That, may in fact, be the problem. Here are some causes of the doldrums:
- Taking care of people, family and work, before yourself.
- A need for perfection or control keeps YOU doing tasks that others COULD be doing themselves
- You need to please others and not make them feel uncomfortable.
- Leaving your own priorities off your calendar.
- Overmuch Concern about others making a mistake, failing or otherwise having a rough time.
If any of these resonate with you, read the following quote from singer, Ricky Nelson, “You can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself.”
What does pleasing yourself entail while maintaining a professional work position and a healthy family life?
- Know what YOU want. This sounds simple, but I find with my coaching, many people know what they DO NOT want but do not have a clear picture of what they DO want. Finding a clear picture of what you want takes white space in your schedule, your calendar. What is white space? It is YOU time. No cell, no people, no family, not even the dog.
My favorite is a nature walk on the beach or in the park with pen and notebook. But, you may find a local coffee shop works. One blog poster that I read regularly, takes his yellow pad, a pen and no cell phone to a local coffee shop once per week for an hour to check in with his own hopes and dreams. Me, I get too side-tracked “people watching” at the coffee shop. The only rule is this: go solo, not with your significant other or BFF.
Start writing; doodle ideals for your life. Start with three to five or ten at the most. State specifics. Clarify as best you can with descriptive words, phrases or drawings. No Worries about how or what to do, just get your dreams in writing.
Spend your first couple of solo times writing and picturing your ideal future. This feeds your subconscious mind as you take time to get in touch with your own inner GPS. You can name it Higher Self, Source, God, Goddess, or any name you want; the name is not important. You tap into your highest potential when you take personal time to define your own future rather than being swept through life fulfilling everyone else’s goals and dreams.
If you don’t define where you want to go, you can end up somewhere you do not want to be.
- Watch for serendipity. Once you can picture your ideal future, start looking for nudges, clues, messages that come into your life. This may be a book; it may be a friend who makes a comment that you have not considered. Be on the lookout for an action nudge. Keep your notebook with you to capture this information. I have a notebook in my car; you never know when traffic light or traffic jam inspiration will hit. Beside my bed. Yep, you may wake up at 3 am with a nudge. Write it down.
This could be an urge to clean out the garage, clean out a closet, let go of some old papers or possessions. It could be a yen to call an old friend or to visit a place from your past. Be open and follow the nudge. Once you give your subconscious a clear picture of your goals; it becomes your ally.
- Picture it. Keep a picture, a word, a symbol of your future in front of you. Where do you spend most of your time? There. It doesn’t have to be too big and it only has meaning for your eyes only. One of mine is a butterfly sticker. It represents change for me and keeps me mindful of changing rather than “saming.”
- Keep at it. Make a date with yourself (at least one a week) to revisit the dream and make action step notes.
Small steps taken consistently lead you into your ideal future.
Go with love, grace, a heap of self-acceptance. Look for Part 2 of Stuck Sucks😊