Aug 10, 2018 | Inspiration For Your Life Path
After reading
Part I of this Stuck Sucks series, you now have a clear
vision for your future. Your vision begins your journey to
manifestation.
Action is next. A vision without action is a pipe dream. Action steps can bring up old mental tapes about why you can’t have your vision, OR your own self-critique floods your thoughts. This can lead to pesky symptoms:
- procrastination
- waiting until the time is perfect before doing anything
- listening to your best friends and family naysayers AND believing them instead of your own heart, mind and soul
- getting sidetracked by distractions that vie for your time and attention, especially electronic distractions – Candy Crush™ anyone?
- malaise or talking yourself out of it due to fear of not getting it right; what others will say or think about your actions
Here are several ways that I use to move forward:
-
- Big action for a BIG shift
Find a retreat, multiday course or personal development event with a known organization. The requirement here is to leave town and be away from home for a couple days minimum. This is an investment of time and money into YOUR future. These are at least a few to consider:
- Middle size action idea Take an online course in personal development OR find a life coach to work with you to reach your vision. As a business owner, when I was ready for my business to grow or re-size, a coach would appear to help me re-tool my thinking, my self-image or help me overcome my barriers to reaching more of my potential. My coaches include: business growth coaches, professional speaking coaches, personal growth coaches, and relationship coaches.
Small action steps Read an inspirational book or listen to one from Audible®. The one I am listening to now is Jim Rohn’s Classic Library. My favorite for claiming your vision is Michael Beckwith’s Life Visioning. Dr. Beckwith’s process is worth listening to more than once. Your car is a rolling classroom and I learned to use mine for that purpose years ago. The news is not going to get you unstuck. Your fav music station or Pandora® is not going to get you unstuck. But, there may be wisdom in a non-fiction, personal development book or podcast. Click here to check out my Reading List
But don’t stop there.
Keep a journal. One way to use your journal is to write what author Julia Cameron calls, “Morning Pages”, two or three handwritten pages about anything that is on your mind. Every day for at least a month, write your two or three pages. Journaling ideas, thoughts and musings helps flush out barriers, old tapes that need to be re-booted, or just allows you time to be creative. Recently, I added colored pencil sketches to my journal. It helps me use my creative side, and no one will ever judge my doodling. This journal is private and not shared or reviewed. It serves to flush out, so you can refill.
Also use your journal to write ideas from the book you are listening to or reading. These notes can be your own personal mantras, encouragements and Action Plans. Use post-its on your desk or mirror to remind you of new ideas and thought patterns.
Big, Medium, or Small, take a new step to get Unstuck. Staying stuck and mired in excuses and thoughts of what you do not want creates negative energy. Steps toward something new breaks that cycle and allows the positive future you deserve to gradually emerge. Be well and joyous on your path!
Linda
If a vision for your future is not coming clear, remember this is the special process that a
Life Coach such as yours truly facilitates.
Call me😊
800.242.7648.
Jul 9, 2018 | Inspiration For Your Life Path
You are a busy professional with family demands plus work demands, and yet you can feel like you are just moving deck chairs on the Titanic. Not moving forward, just getting through each day with a “To Do List” with leftovers. Busy can feel like you are making progress, but, when you stop for a moment and take a breath, you seem to be in the same spot you were yesterday and the day before.
Yuck…being STUCK SUCKS. Daily actions are either moving you forward, keeping you in a rut or taking you backwards. When you are in a rut, (I call it the DOLDRUMS.) life can feel a bit pointless, frustrating, and even boring though you are busy to the MAX. How to get out of the doldrums and get UN-Stuck?
Time for a personal leadership break. You say there is not time for a break? That, may in fact, be the problem. Here are some causes of the doldrums:
- Taking care of people, family and work, before yourself.
- A need for perfection or control keeps YOU doing tasks that others COULD be doing themselves
- You need to please others and not make them feel uncomfortable.
- Leaving your own priorities off your calendar.
- Overmuch Concern about others making a mistake, failing or otherwise having a rough time.
If any of these resonate with you, read the following quote from singer, Ricky Nelson, “You can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself.”
What does pleasing yourself entail while maintaining a professional work position and a healthy family life?
- Know what YOU want. This sounds simple, but I find with my coaching, many people know what they DO NOT want but do not have a clear picture of what they DO want. Finding a clear picture of what you want takes white space in your schedule, your calendar. What is white space? It is YOU time. No cell, no people, no family, not even the dog.
My favorite is a nature walk on the beach or in the park with pen and notebook. But, you may find a local coffee shop works. One blog poster that I read regularly, takes his yellow pad, a pen and no cell phone to a local coffee shop once per week for an hour to check in with his own hopes and dreams. Me, I get too side-tracked “people watching” at the coffee shop. The only rule is this: go solo, not with your significant other or BFF.
Start writing; doodle ideals for your life. Start with three to five or ten at the most. State specifics. Clarify as best you can with descriptive words, phrases or drawings. No Worries about how or what to do, just get your dreams in writing.
Spend your first couple of solo times writing and picturing your ideal future. This feeds your subconscious mind as you take time to get in touch with your own inner GPS. You can name it Higher Self, Source, God, Goddess, or any name you want; the name is not important. You tap into your highest potential when you take personal time to define your own future rather than being swept through life fulfilling everyone else’s goals and dreams.
Remember:
If you don’t define where you want to go, you can end up somewhere you do not want to be.
Watch for serendipity. Once you can picture your ideal future, start looking for nudges, clues, messages that come into your life. This may be a book; it may be a friend who makes a comment that you have not considered. Be on the lookout for an action nudge. Keep your notebook with you to capture this information. I have a notebook in my car; you never know when traffic light or traffic jam inspiration will hit. Beside my bed. Yep, you may wake up at 3 am with a nudge. Write it down.
This could be an urge to clean out the garage, clean out a closet, let go of some old papers or possessions. It could be a yen to call an old friend or to visit a place from your past. Be open and follow the nudge. Once you give your subconscious a clear picture of your goals; it becomes your ally.
- Picture it. Keep a picture, a word, a symbol of your future in front of you. Where do you spend most of your time? There. It doesn’t have to be too big and it only has meaning for your eyes only. One of mine is a butterfly sticker. It represents change for me and keeps me mindful of changing rather than “saming.”
- Keep at it. Make a date with yourself (at least one a week) to revisit the dream and make action step notes.
Small steps taken consistently lead you into your ideal future.
Go with love, grace, a heap of self-acceptance. Look for Part 2 of Stuck Sucks😊
Call me for a Complimentary Coaching appointment if you are feeling stuck. 800.242.7648
or email me [email protected]
Jan 10, 2017 | Inspiration For Your Life Path
Unplug more. The world has become addicted to electronics. This year plan to unplug at night before you go to be and don’t keep your cell phone at the bedside, unless you have a REAL pending family emergency. When you have dinner with anyone, shut the phone off. Pay attention with true mindful attention to the person(s) you are with.- Get some rest. Starbucks® or Red Bull® can’t replace sleep. Your body, especially your brain, needs rest to function properly. Turn off the TV and electronics and read quietly to help you doze off. Listen to a meditation app. Find an inspirational book and read a page or two before you close your eyes. OR, start a gratitude journal and make your daily entry the last thing you do before you close your eyes. Lack of good sleep can make you cranky, quick tempered and fog-brained.
- Make a nature walk with someone you love part of your weekly exercise. Even in foul weather, bundle up, get your snow shoe attachments and head out into nature. Again, turn off the cell phone and reconnect with our awesome planet.
- Plan a creative adventure. Every week or at least every month, plan a new adventure. Find a new restaurant; look for a new art gallery; attend a play, a concert, or a museum, visit a garden or some local attraction that you have not experienced. Studies show that getting out of our ruts and doing new things feeds our creative self. You’ll suddenly see a new way to solve a challenge you have at work by experiencing a creative venue.
- Be kind. Road rage, political upheaval, cranky service providers – you can always find something to complain about these days. We live in an over stressed society. It is quite cool to be stressed it seems. However, look to change your default to kindness and compassion. I love this Compassion Exercise from Happy Palmer:
Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for his/her life.
Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life.
Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.
Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill his/her needs.
Just like me, this person is learning about life.
Wishing you a fabulous 2017. Plan your year with my You, Inc. Goal Setting Guide. You can download it here. Share the link with your friends and family.
Apr 7, 2016 | Inspiration For Your Life Path
Your mama wasn’t my mama, so we learned different things while growing up. Most people, when it comes right down to it, still believe in, and maintain the values that they were taught growing up. Some go through a teenage or young adult search to re-find or re-define values and standards that are different from that of their family of origin, but, deep down, there are roots that we seem to keep.
Because we did not all have the same mama, we all have different points of view on many issues. From the political arena, the religious arena, the financial arena, to the global warming conversation or what foods to eat and not eat, we all have points of view. Those differences are what make life interesting and yet testy at times. Keeping our own core values while engaging with the world can, at times, be a challenge.
Years ago, in a weekend course, I learned a valuable lesson about points of view. When your point of view becomes the ONLY Point of View that you can tolerate, then conflict and stress arise. We did an exercise. Two people stood before each other and put their arms across from each other as if to arm wrestle. We were told to push our point of view onto the other person. As you can imagine, this pushing created clenched jaws, groans, and shows of force. Next, we were asked to not push or resist the other. That created a gentle swaying. We were at ease with each other.
Pushing your point of view, no matter the issue, on to another, or judging them as inferior because of their point of view is NOT YOUR point of view, creates tension and barriers between people. It can be tough to allow another their point of view when it is different than your own. However, it is in the allowing that you are able to dialogue with another without tension. In the dialogue, you can uncover and understand how they came to their point of view. Dialogue with curiosity. Dr. Stephen Covey said it best, “Seek first to understand, before being understood.”
Life is easier and less stressful when you allow others their point of view without trying to force yours.
Feb 25, 2016 | Inspiration For Your Life Path
Face your fears is easy to say and harder to do. Fear can keep you frozen, keep you stressed, and keep you from taking a step forward into your preferred future and a better life. There are many quotes about fear such as, Neale Walsch’s acrostic,
“FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real”, or Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s famous quote,
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”Platitudes are great, but what about what is gripping you right now? Fear is a personal experience. One person fears snakes and another enjoys having a snake as a pet. One person enjoys the thrill of public speaking and another fears it so much that they freeze.
Fear originates in our old brain from our fight or flight triggers. Fear of tigers or falling for example are innate fears. Most day-to-day fears are learned. Fears can be learned from people, usually early in life, and can originate from bad experiences. Fears are buried emotional reactions. It may take a bit of research to unearth the origin of your fear. You can solve the mystery and move forward into your best future by quelling your fear.
Fear leaves you feeling powerless. The thing, person or situation you fear holds power over you, your thoughts and your actions. Your old brain memory is running you around with no peace and no action. Fear can make you feel powerless, you, then, often look for something to ease the stress or block the fear. Thus, negative habits such as overeating, drinking a bit too much, and over doing pain killers can enter into your life. Fear can drive you to excessive attempts to control others, over-checking everything, being overly picky, codependent behaviors or rescuing others. Or, fear can lead to inaction, being frozen, stuck.
Time to face the fiddler of your fear. Look fear in the face and dispel its hold over you. Start with a meditation or with journaling. Ask yourself, “What is the root of the fear I feel?” Journal or meditate until you discover the root cause. This may take a few days, but once you decide to start, your subconscious will work with you. You may have a flash memory at an unusual time. If you can; stop and write about the memory.
Once you have the memory in mind, find a quiet time to work with the memory. What I mean by “work with” is to visualize the scenario as it was and feel through the feelings you had then. Sometimes allowing buried feelings out into the present can relieve the hold that this fear has on you. Next, visualize putting yourself in the role of each person in the scenario, one at a time. Feel what they felt, see why they acted the way they did. Next, visualize all of the people in the situation sitting together at a boardroom table and each in turn asking for forgiveness. Finish with replaying the scenario with your new understanding. Replay the scenario in your mind until the sting of the fear is gone or neutralized.
Breaking through fear’s hold on your subconscious mind takes a willingness to risk and to change. To conquer fear requires facing it and resolving to move forward with the fear out of your way rather than letting the it run the show. You will need to stretch your comfort zone. Comfort zones are a creation of your subconscious mind and are often established through old beliefs. The more you face your fears and conquer them, the more fear-facing muscle you develop.
“Resolve to do the things you fear and the death of fear is certain.”
-Mark Twain
Fear-Busting!
Another fear-busting tool is to turn the fear around and put it into a positive statement of what you want to happen. Write out the positive outcome that would dispel the fear. Take the positive statement and use it as an affirmation. Make it your motto until the fear is gone away enough that you feel ready to take your necessary action. Read the positive statement several times a day starting first thing in the morning and repeat before retiring at night.
For example:
Fear: I am afraid I won’t have enough money to pay for school.
Affirmation: I am capable of finding new ways to increase my income.
Action: Resolve to learn more about scholarships for school or part time flexible income opportunities.
A third tool is to read Susan Jeffers book, Feel the Fear and Do IT Anyway. It was a life changer for me.
You can start here, and if you need more serious help, I suggest finding a NLP facilitator (NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a study which encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming.) or a hypnotherapist in your area.
I have used all of these processes in my own life and can vouch for them. Fear will keep you in your small self. You have the power to bust through to your preferred fulfilled self.
Lastly, keep this quote from Taylor Swift close at hand to give you courage.
Fearless is not the absence of fear.
It’s not being completely unafraid.
Fearless is having fears.
Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them.
Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.
-Taylor Swift
Feb 8, 2016 | Inspiration For Your Life Path
Living your own life and going for your own dreams can seem selfish if you have a bit of old programming. Now, during the Lunar New Year, it is time to sweep those old thoughts out. This is the Year of the Fire Monkey – the year for ambition and adventure.
Monkeys are clever, quick and full of mischievous fun. Think about your life now and how you can add a dose of ambition. What dream needs a dusting off? Have you talked yourself out of something that would please or delight you? You can re-think your desires during this lunar New Year.
Part of the New Year tradition is a thorough house cleaning. When we visited Vietnam two years ago, we were there during Tet, the Vietnamese New Year. As our bus rolled along the highways, we saw people bringing all their furniture out to deep clean their home. This New Year cleaning is symbolic of the cleaning out of any old spirits, which readies the home to welcome guests.
What old spirits are lingering in your mind that need to be cleaned out to prepare you for a year of action and adventure? What are you telling yourself about a goal or desire? Do you tell yourself that you “don’t deserve that”, are “too old to do that”, and “shouldn’t spend the money to have that”? It is time to clean those thoughts out so that you can open your mind and heart to a new deserving attitude.
Sometimes it feels selfish to have you own desires and goals. Think about it a new way: if you don’t go for your dreams who will? If you don’t take action toward a heart’s desire, who will? If you are waiting for the “right” time, you may wait too long. If you are waiting for everyone to be “OK” with your goals, you may wait too long. If you are waiting for someone to come along with you on an adventure, you may wait too long. What one small step can you take now toward your desired adventure or goal?
“One step begins the journey of a thousand miles.” -Old Chinese saying.
Fun, in our workaholic Puritan culture, is often set aside for work: Work in the yard, work overtime for our career. Work is glorified in our American culture. But it is fun that gives you mental rest and fuel to be creative with your life. How can you add more fun? How do you define fun? Is it going to a movie? Is it a dance or art class? Is it a walk in the woods or the beach? Is it a trip to a museum, an art gallery or the amusement park for a day? One great, fun experience we had this year was taking our grandson to Disney World for two days. If you have not experienced an amusement park with a child, put that on your list. Delight is all I can say. Having fun brings you back into the child like persona that is creative like a monkey.
Open your life to new experiences and dust off old ambitions as the Lunar year brings you fabulous Fire Monkey energy to fuel your life path.
